Invasions

We've got swarms of some strange, tan flying bug hanging out by the front door. They're clearly drawn by the (timer-fueled) porchlights, but they've multiplied exponentially and are now a verifiable swarm. Every night they appear in droves so thick that the door and the windows on either side look like something out of a movie. Collette is enthralled, watching them flit around silently, trying to avoid the spiderwebs. She has caught and eaten several - I suppose the extra protein won't hurt her.

We sprayed the front door area with bug spray (of the general "flying bug" variety), leaving piles of tiny bodies on the front steps. The next night, though, the horde returned, barely fazed. For the most part, they stay outside, but occasionally they seem to slip in, and there's a cobweb between the front door and its storm door that I clear out every morning.

Meanwhile, the wasp infestation continues. After knocking down three or four small nests, we kept noticing wasps buzzing around the driveway and yard, so we knew there had to be another nest somewhere. Indeed, I stumbled across a giant one on Sunday while washing windows. I got to the outside of the office window - the one that lacks a screen and hence hasn't been open this year - and was about to spray with the Windex when I stopped dead in my tracks. There was a huge, baseball-sized nest, teeming with white eggs ready to hatch and swarming with at least a dozen wasps. I quickly decided to wait until dusk and spray with wasp killer rather than Windex. Monday, there were several wasp corpses on the window sill but some were still buzzing around, and Don watched (from inside) larva crawling from one of the egg pods. I sprayed again Monday evening, and may do so again Tuesday before knocking it down with a broom and running like hell.

Ah, the joys of critters who can hurt you!

The Sistine Porch

I had about two thirds of a tube of caulk left after I finished the last of the door sealing yesterday. It was the first time I had used this particular brand, which meant that after I snipped the top and loaded it into the gun, I struggled and tried to get the goop flowing, to no avail. Instead, I ended up rupturing the bottom of it, not realizing that this brand also has an internal foil seal to break. Oops. Regardless, the result was that I couldn't just plug the top and save the rest for a rainy day. Rather, I had to use it or lose it.

Since I've had a couple minor (and one major) leaks in the porch ceiling this summer, I've been meaning to replace a couple rotten boards and seal the gaps in the whole ceiling. I took the leftover caulk as the perfect opportunity to start sealing some of the gaps between the beadboard. Up on my ladder, I could reach things just fine, but I found myself realizing that Michelangelo was on to something when he lay on his back to paint the Sistine Chapel. In the hour or so that I was working, I did maybe a fifth of the porch ceiling, since I had to keep moving the ladder. At moments I would reach too far directly behind my head and momentarily feel a bit dizzy. Eek.

But I didn't realize the true extent of my work until this morning, when I woke up with aching triceps. Who knew that caulking the ceiling would be such a great workout? I've got least four or five more workouts ahead of me before winter sets in.

More fun than a frost heave

I had a frost heave appear on/in/under my driveway last March. It mostly settled itself - the driveway shrunk back down nearly to its normal height once spring settled in. And I swear I'll actually seal the crack(s) once and for all during the upcoming (now weather-pending) Crack Weekend.

One of my favorite bloggers, National Review's John Derbyshire, apparently has a similar problem, though the timing suggests something other than a frost heave. His inquiry for ideas lead to a bevy of possibilities, including subterranean mushrooms, an old well, dandelions (a problem I've had - they do push through asphalt!), a volcano, a baby driveway (i.e., sidewalk) and more. Possible solutions range from fungicide to shotguns. All of which are far more interesting than my problem and (lack of) solution.

They're Ba-ack!

Perhaps they were never really gone. After a couple months of relative quiet, the crack dealers across the street have returned. During the half hour it took me to mow my front lawn Sunday afternoon, I witnessed four drug deals. As is often the case, within about 2 minutes of calling the police, the dealers cut and run, scattering like cockroaches.

In honor of their return, I am declaring next weekend "Crack Weekend." I will fill in all the cracks in the driveway, sidewalk and the foundation. Maybe I'll even paint the front steps while I'm at it - and wave at the crack dealers across the way. Weather permitting, of course.

Meanwhile, the local smoke shop - really, more paraphernalia than tobacco - has acquiesced in their fight against our neighborhood association and is leaving town. The shop was just around the corner and lacked parking, so I often had patrons parking in front of my house. Good riddance!

Sweden?!? Really?

Before sanding and staining the pine I bought for the new trim around the door, I peeled of the barcode stickers. I noticed something interesting. The pine was all imported from Sweden. Really? With the cost of energy, how much of the (relatively low) cost of the wood is absorbed by the cost of transporting the lumber across 4000+ miles of ocean and land?

Just asking.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

Common sense would have dictated that I mow the lawn tonight. I've got more clovers than a Lucky Charms box and the edges are looking pretty shaggy. It didn't quite need to be mowed over the beautiful, perfect weekend, and besides, it was busy. By this morning, though, I knew my days were numbered before Code Enforcement comes a-knocking.

But did I get home, change into my grubby yard clothes and mow the lawn in the 75 degree sunshine? No... instead, I whined about my super-sore legs (who knew staining and gardening could be such a lethal combination?) and lounged in the backyard with a book. And now I learn that the rest of the week will be hot and humid. Serves me right, I suppose.

Foiled by Gravity

I had a very productive weekend! I spent yesterday doing all kinds of door-related work. I applied the first coat of stain to the trim, finished caulking all the way around the outside and inside of the door, and played with the nastiest stuff I've ever worked with - asphalt/tar caulk, filling the gap between the driveway and the doorframe. (The driveway is, of course, unlevel.)

I did all this while eying the clouds as they built and waned. I did all my staining out in the driveway - avoiding the fumes that would build in the basement and the darkness of the garage -
but had everything on a sheet, ready to drag into the garage at the first raindrops. I got lucky, and the sun even came out.

Then I came inside and set off to fill the big, hollow void that I discovered last week. On Dad's advice, I had bought some Great Stuff, and had happily picked the "Big Gap" variety. I donned my goggles and my one remaining rubber glove (the other having fallen victim to the gross tar gunk), climbed my step stool, and poised to start at the top and work my way down. I quickly realized that gravity had other ideas, as everything I filled plopped its way down the shaft to the bottom. Working quickly, I climbed down and started working from the bottom up, purposely only filling about half the gap, per the instructions.

My big can of Big Gap Great Stuff only filled about half the void, so resigned, I pushed the stuff into place and packed up for the afternoon.

Two hours later, I passed through the back hallway and stopped cold. The Great Stuff had settled down from where I had originally put it. Gravity had intervened, pulling the whole mass downwards into a big blob. I tried to push it back up, but it was still sticky and malleable and I was afraid of making it worse, so I left it to solidify, hoping I could carve it up and reuse the misplaced foam. (I had used Great Stuff before to fill in some (horizontal) gaps in the basement and found it easy to work with - and once it hardens, easy to carve off the excess with a knife. Gravity hadn't been a factor when working horizontally.)

By morning, an entire digestive system of foam adorned my wall. After a busy day (laundry, weeding, more staining, and Elgin's Greekfest), I decided to tackle the stomach-shaped mass. I set off with a razor blade, but found a screwdriver more useful. I hacked into the stomach, chiseling off small chunks - like packing peanuts, but without the candy colors. In a way, they worked out better than the original foam, since I could easily stuff them back around in the corners of the void, whereas working with aerosol, you just point and hope. I filled a pretty good portion of the hole with the leftovers, taking off a couple chunks of paint in the process. (Fortunately, in my garage diggings yesterday, I found a third of a gallon of paint labeled "Back Entry." It perfectly matches the paint already on the walls, which we feared we would have to repaint entirely to compensate for the slightly-smaller trim and a bit of damage (i.e. the hole we made while prying off the old trim).

One small can of Great Stuff should fill the rest of the void - and no, I won't be getting the "Big Gap" variety again! Plus, I've learned that when working in vertical spaces, it may help to prop up the fresh foam while it solidifies - I'm thinking a piece of cardboard may do the trick.

Regardless, I'm closer to finishing the door project once and for all! Then I move onto the fence...

My house is hollow!

Don and I made a trip to pick up all the remaining pieces for the door: more caulk, more asphalt/tar/goop for the seal between the door and the driveway, lumber to rebuild the trim, paint for the door and other miscellaneous stuff.

The old trim was in really bad shape. Bits of it had obviously been replaced over time, leading to an inconsistent and ugly mismash of wood types and stain shades. We measured the pieces we would need, then started to rip out the old stuff. The first bit came off easily - after we got through the four nails at the top, the rest was glued to the wall with liquid nails. Lazy. Then, strangely, we discovered two inches between the end of the drywall and the new door frame that had been filled in with wood. Apparently, the original door had been the standard 32" width, and some previous owner had built up the frame to suit a 30" door. It makes no sense whatsoever - why replace a standard door with an extra narrow one? Maybe he had an old 30" one lying around? Regardless, even if I had known about the gap before ordering the door, I would have strongly hesitated going with a 32" door, since it would have entailed cutting into the aluminum siding on the other side.

Dimensions and list in hand, we asked for help in the lumber aisle at Home Depot. While Don picked through the 2x4s to find the straightest ones possible, the HD guy and I sought a sufficiently wide - and sturdy - piece to level out the new threshold with the existing cement steps. I said I was looking for a nice, thick piece of pressure-treated wood, but the HD guy kept trying to sell me some fancy, decorative piece. Finally, we found the millwork "expert" who suggested - what else - a thick piece of pressure-treated wood. They didn't stock the width I needed, but they did have some a half inch wider. Sold. The HD guy proceeded to explain to me how I should measure the piece to the right width and - using a straight edge, dontcha know - mark the width, then sand it down. I agree that sanding is the way to go, and thanked him for his help. Then, upon returning to Don's pile of 2x4s, the HD guy proceeded to repeat the recommendations for measuring, marking and sanding. Nevermind that he had just explained the exact same thing, 10 feet down the aisle, to me. Don was astounded by the guy's demeanor - as if I was just the clueless helper on the project, and not the instigator! I told him that this happens ALL THE TIME with HD and Lowes associates. But alas.

This afternoon, Don beat me home and started ripping out the rest of the trim. He made an interesting discovery - in the small, narrow space between the door frame and the corner of the house, the house is HOLLOW. No drywall, no insulation, nada. Just empty space, the framing of the house and a whole bunch of ants. So now we need to figure out what to do there. Is it worth drywalling a space that's only 2" wide? Either way, we're going to seal the heck out of it and insulate it in some way, shape or form. Upon closer inspection, we discovered a small gap between the foundation and the siding - that's gotta be the entry point for the ants.

Much more to do, but progress is being made. And already, I feel so much more secure with a door that closes and locks firmly.

Door day!

At last, the doors went in yesterday. Dad and Mom showed up bright and early (too early for my Friday-national holiday taste, but I understood their rationale for a 9 AM arrival), bearing tools and birthday cake. After we had our breakfast cake, we settled into work.

Demolition went pretty quickly. The old door popped out easily, though we discovered that much of the jamb was held in place with approximately 27 coast of paint. Dad commented how heavy the old wood door, especially compared to its steel replacement. We also discovered quite the nest of ants, burrowed into the door frame, so we sprayed heavily. We parked the old doors in the garage, since my sister may want to repurpose them for a house she's fixing up. As she said, an old crappy door is better than no door at all. And the price is right.

Then the fun began. Dad and Don kept setting the new door into place to see where it fit and where it was too tight. After lots of back and forth (literally), we were close, but it still wasn't fitting quite level. So Mom, Dad and I took off for Home Depot while Don stayed behind to guard the house (since there was a gaping hole in the side of it) and sand through the 27 layers of paint that were impeding the fit process.

While we were at the Depot, Don called with a realization - the door wasn't fitting because the hinge screws in the pre-hung door weren't screwed down. Since they were protruding, of course the door wasn't fitting quite right. We got the rest of the supplies we needed - caulk, screws, tar paper, and other stuff - and headed home.

The rest of the installation was slow and steady, but other than a quick trip to Ace to pick up a hacksaw (new tool acquired! Who knew that storm doors are sold with stock size bars that have to be cut to fit the opening?), we made good progress. Late in the process, we were all tired and hungry and hot in the sun, so we pulled out the patio chairs, but the end result is divine.

We ran out of caulk - the gaps between the house and the door frame are pretty significant - and the trim still has to be ripped out and replaced, but the door opens perfectly level, closes firmly but easily and the storm door actually fits the gap. Perfection. With just a bit more work , I'll have a door that will last for years - and hopefully prove much more energy efficient than the old one.

Busy, and Thwarted by the Weather

Since starting the new job, I've been a tad busy learning everything I can about the new industry and adjusting to the new lifestyle. Plus, since I'm getting home earlier, I've been going on as many evening bike rides as possible. (The bike path itself has been fascinating with the ongoing heavy rains - there are places the path is closed entirely due to flooding, and many others where the river water laps up along the edges.)

My fancy new back doors came in a few weeks ago, and after frantic scheduling, my sister came down with her truck and helped me bring them to the house. (It's cheaper to bribe her with lunch than pay the Depot $59 for delivery!) The doors have been parked in the garage ever since, forcing a very cautious maneuver every time I pull the car in - which is daily now. Every time my dad and I have aligned schedules (thrice, so far), it has rained on our parade. And not gentle-we-can-work-in-this rain. No, we're talking monsoons. The kind that you can't even consider working outside in, especially since there will be a gaping hole in the house for a couple (few?) hours. But cross your fingers for Friday...

Meanwhile, all the rain has been great for the living things in my yard! My tomato plant boasts the first few green tomatoes beginning to ripen, and some of the herbs are doing well. In the front flower beds, I did indeed wait too long to plant the zinnia bounty, but they're starting to grow. Note to self: start them much, much earlier next year - like early May, or even inside in April. The nasturtiums are growing, but no blooms yet.

And in the back yard, the mulberries have taken over. Everything is purple and goopy and gross, and there's a nice, rancid odor of ranting berries. The poor garage roof is purple, and the squirrels and birds are in heaven. We cut that tree back so far last fall, but it grows like a weed!

The rain has also once again meant a bit of very minor flooding in the basement, reminding me of the urgency of fixing it once and for all. Perhaps that's a good rainy day project.

Onwards and upwards. Plenty more to do.